imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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