My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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