some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize