i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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