there was a trapeze. enough said
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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