There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
