She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
