I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
