He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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