I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
