Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
