the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
