last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize