Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
