My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
