all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
