mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
