I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
