I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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