Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
