honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
