Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
