its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize