His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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