Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
