I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
PANTIES FOUND
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