Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
