Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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