Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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