You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize