I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
