Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
