We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
