I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
