I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
