I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
