Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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