I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
