Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
one might say we're banned from that church
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
what day is it and did you see me today?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
