Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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