so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
