I want to have your abortion
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
