bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
