There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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