...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize