plz talk dirty to me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize