ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
