I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
