If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize