fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
