How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
