So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
