no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
