**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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