True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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