just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
