I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
