I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
