how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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