You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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