you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
