Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
