i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
