why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Holy sore nipples Batman
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
