Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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