Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
