Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
