Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
