Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
