just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
