I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
