I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize