yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
