you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize