she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
