Sry I called you an 8
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize