He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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