If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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