Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
