I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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