You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
